What is intimacy? This is the question that Alice Wong and many other disabled contributors discuss and dissect in the newest collection of essays Disability Intimacy: Essays on Love, Care and Desire.
More than sex, more than romantic love, the pieces in this new anthology offer broader and more inclusive definitions of what it can mean to be intimate with another person.
Explorations of caregiving, community, access, and friendship offer alternative ways of thinking about the connections we form with others—a vital reimagining in an era when forced physical distance is, at times, a necessary norm.
But don't worry: there's still sex to consider—and the numerous ways sexual liberation intersects with Disability justice. Between these pages, you'll also find disabled sexual discovery, disabled love stories, and disabled joy.
These twenty-five original pieces—plus other modern classics on the subject, all carefully curated by Alice—include essays, photo essays, poetry, drama, and erotica: a full spectrum of the dreams, fantasies, and deeply personal realities of a wide range of beautiful bodies and minds.
I'm currently halfway through the collection and wanted to share one of my favourite passages from Alice's pages (and possibly one of my favourite things ever written):
Disabled love is spun from respect and mutuality, not reciprocity. Disabled love isn't about keeping score or competing to give the most. Disabled love doesn't demand consistency or perfection. Disabled love asks us to love ourselves first and foremost. It reminds us that we are not a healthy community if we push one another to give beyond our individual means. Disabled love tells us it's okay to cancel plans. Unlike non-disabled friends, my disabled friends never stop inviting me or rescheduling. They honour my boundaries just the same as I honour theirs because disabled love is spun from honesty.
Keah Brown
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